Looking Back at 2012

This is now the fourth year that I have answered these questions about the past 12 months. I don't really edit these or try to be cool about the answers. The responses are totally honest and I try not to over think them.

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?

We took a week's vacation and actually got away. Even if it was only a car trip away, we unplugged and relaxed in the Catskill mountains. It was perfect.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?

Probably a 'duh' but having my family's home flood was the absolute most stressful moment we have ever experienced as a family. But (and I've said this so many times over the past two months) God gave us the strength and put people into our lives who allowed us to get through this. People donated their time and money to help my parents - it's given us all a great deal of hope.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?

Our themed dinner parties. These informal parties with a few of our favorite people allowed us to deepen relationships (and enlarge our waistlines, but who cares!).

This photo is from our Chinese party. Most creative costume? Fritz as a panda. Since I am blonder than I pay to be, it took me 1/2 an hour to realize what he was dressed as.

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?

Getting rid of my scrapbook stuff. It was a great release in the end, but it was hard to part with supplies that I spent so much money on, yet hadn't used in years. 

5. Pick three words to describe 2012.

Intense, invigorating, emotional

6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2012 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you).

stressed, tired, motivated

7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2012 (again, without asking).

fun, spur-of-the moment, stressful

8. What were the best books you read this year?

Once again, I used Goodreads to track the books I enjoyed this year. And I missed my goal of 30 books again (probably because the last book I've been reading is 650 pages and about Tudor England...it's a bear to get through). Here were my favorites:

Best Fiction that I listened to was Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. My word, this stuck with me!!! The narration was unreal. I seriously was obsessed with getting people to listen to this book. Those who read it thought I was crazy for liking it (apparently there are lots of cross-outs and blank pages) but it was so touching and so beautiful to hear the story read to me.

Favorite biography/memoir was Unbroken

I listened to this one too. Just wonderful.

Best fiction that I read was the Lost Wife

Best book I never knew I would love was 11/22/63 by Stephen King.

My husband is a crazy Stephen King fan and his books fill the shelves in our home. I however, tried to read the stand 12 years ago, got 50 pages in and vowed never again to even attempt another King novel. Then I heard SK was writing a JFK book. And that characters from It would make an appearance. So I listened to It at the end of last year (and just so you know - I thought it was too long and no, I did not need to read that. Sure, it made about ten pages of 11-22-63 a little cooler, but it was three months of my life listening to that other book when I could have been reading this one). I will say 11-22-63 was wonderful. And I think most of you know I have an obsession with JFK conspiracies (although this book isn't that at all), so it was natural that I would want to read this. And I really enjoyed it. 

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?

Freddy and I stayed strong. Actually, we had a lot of fun together this year.

And we grew closer with our parents. Freddy's family is moving out of state so we have been soaking up the time we have left together and valuing that time together much more than in the past.

My parents are not the type to call and say hi. In fact, we used to talk once a week. Now that's changed and we try to talk every other day even if it's just to say I love you. 

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?

As my husband said, 2012 was supposed to be the year of physical and fiscal responsibility. We ate so much better this year, preparing lots of meals at home. We also took Dave Ramsey's FPU class and although we have years of work to do to get to baby step 3, we are hoping that we can battle with our money so it works for us.

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?

I am less reactive. I try not to give people the benefit of the doubt. I ponder things more.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?

Prayer has become something I automatically do in a crisis moment or when I am stressed. This has taken a long time for me to do naturally, but the peace it brings makes me wish I did this sooner.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?

I kept gaining weight until October when I got so stressed. Now I've lost the 10 pounds I needed to, but not in a healthy way. Last year I hoped to go to the gym and that didn't happen. Maybe this year? 

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?

I'll say it again, having wonderful girlfriends in my life has been lovely. Thank you Katie, Paige and Lauren!

(obviously Lauren and I need to take more pics together).

I've never been good at making friends so having these uplifting and inspirational gals in my life to share the happy and the sad makes things much easier.

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

I finally learned to keep work at work for the most part, anyway. And I *think* I've become a better manager and learned to handle larger projects better.

16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?

Understanding and being ok with the fact that not everyone will like me. 

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?

Unnecessary stress. Less than last year, but it was still there every now and then.

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?

Definitely helping my family during their recovery. Lots of cleaning, painting and organizing, but we all pulled together. It also gave us time to reconnect with family we didn't see often and work for good together.

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?

Living a life of gratitude and generosity is a must. 

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2012 for you.

Find joy in the every day and be grateful in the tough moments.

Thank you blog friends for being part of the 2012 journey (even if 90% of it was outfits) with me. I am so blessed to have you as part of my life. Thank you for the emails and comments and for sharing so much of your lives with me. 

Have a beautiful New Year - here's to a 2013 filled with promise!

Words on the Walls

This will sound funny, but I am not a fan of quotes on my walls. 

Actually, what I am not a fan of is inspirational quotes that I could never live up to.

For instance "Live fully, laugh often, love deeply". I love that quote. I really do. But most days I'm living like it's a glass half-empty world, scowling intensely, and not getting along with people.  (I'm not saying my attitude is right, either. I know that it needs work. Lots of work that I can't do alone).

But there were two quotes I have always wanted on my walls -

 the scriptures read at our wedding.

When the fabulous Denise opened her new Etsy shop Kiss the Sky (please read the shop's welcome, it's probably the most beautiful one found on the entire webernets) I knew that I needed to buy

Ruth 1:16 

 and Hebrews 13:2 for our home.

I actually think that these are two things that Freddy and I try to live up to. 

We 'do life' together. It's so very important for us.

And the hospitality thing? Well, we live in a one bedroom apartment, so we can't really host overnight gatherings, but something we treasure is being with those we love and trying to make them feel special when they are with us. It's something we value, to have people be a part of the every day moments and sharing them together.

I'm not at all saying that we have this life thing figured out, but these gentle reminders from the Lord keep me going. 

They keep me focused on what is important. 

And I know in His faithfulness, I will be what He desires. 

Maybe one day I will be living fully, laughing often, and loving deeply. That can be my new prayer.

Thank you, Denise for making these. My husband and I are still trying to pick the perfect spots for them to be enjoyed! 

Denise is celebrating the opening of her shop with a discount:

Receive 10% off in the Kiss the Sky shop this week.
{June 25- July1}
Use coupon code

grateful

Calm After the Storm

We braced for Hurricane Irene's approach for an entire week.

One week of the news telling us it was going to be the worst storm in decades.

One week of preparations, running to the store, stocking up on essentials, filling the cars with gas.

One week of predictions, everyone having an opinion of when, where, how severe the storm's wrath would be.

One week of prayers for protection.

The waiting part was the worst.

Saturday we sat and waited. Did nothing but clean and do laundry in case we were without power for a while. It was eerie and creepy.

Then at midnight the storm attacked. We live in a basement, so we don't hear or see as if we were above ground. I opened our door and looked out at the flailing trees and stood listening to the howling wind. It was a powerful moment of recognizing God's power. I've never had one of those moments (I won't lie, I closed that door and said many many many prayers for protection), not looking at scenery, not basking in the sun on the beach. It was the first time I felt the Lord in nature, right there in the midst of a very stormy night. And felt protected at the same time. I know, it doesn't make a lot of sense, but I felt safe.

And now the storm is over.

Our loved ones suffered minor damage and are safe, power is slowly being restored, debris is being cleaned, and lives are back on track. 

And I'm still feeling safe.

Easter Blessings

Rarely do people name Easter as their favorite holiday. Usually Christmas tops the list and birthdays are the highlight for many.  I'm partial to Thanksgiving, but I'm not sure why. The food's not my favorite and I don't cook. I think it's because, for our family, it's been since Easter that we've last gathered.

Let's begin by realizing that Easter in my family meant being dressed in our finest (bonnets, gloves, and tights) and apparently my brother was forced to wear bunny pants. He has since accused my mother of dressing him like a child of the '20s from Boardwalk Empire.

On a serious note, Easter is surely my parents' favorite holiday. Every single Easter for the past 30 years my parents have worked with converts to their church and Holy Saturday is a celebration of baptisms, confirmations and communions. My parents and their team spend a full year instructing these new believers about doctrine and dogma and share stories of faith and belief. And Easter is a day of new life for these new Christians.

I've always admired the dedication my parents have had to this group of men and women. I admire it more because in my recent shift to a new church they haven't tried to convert me back. They've just sat back and listened to my stories. And I am praying especially for them this Holy Week, as it's their final year working with RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) after lots of prayer and thought.

And this year my husband and I are attending our first Easter services together in our church. So very exciting, so wonderful, so different from where I was a year ago.

So I'm thinking Easter may become one of my favorite holidays, too. For the joy of new life, the joy of faith and belief, the joy of bonnets and bunnies, and the joy of Christ's promise of salvation.

Many Easter blessings to all of you!

Where am I going?

I have faith issues. Have had them for as long as I can remember. And now I am seeking waaaay outside my Catholic comfort zone. I finally want to have a place to call my spiritual home, to reach out in the community, and serve. I think these are things I have been wanting for so long that the seeking has been a process I've lived with for years and never listened to those little pushes I'd been feeling.

Where should I go to worship and seek a faith community? What should it be?

There are my hopes.

Don't want:
1. Hierarchy - this is a big one for me, as I have experienced the abuses of hierarchy and clericalism first-hand and I've had enough of it in my life. The church is the people and those called by God to serve. God must be the focus, the gospel must be preached and loved. Christ must be at the center of all that is done within the community, not the priest (and I know for so many Catholics this is not how they believe, it just became my perception of how things were headed).

2. Legalism - That's some scary stuff, yo. Although I am not anti-rules, I fear that I could probably fall into the trap of legalism so easily because I am so afraid of breaking rules. I do believe that people need to observe a disciplined life, but that life is meant to be just that - lived. And I also think that legalism takes the focus off of Christ and places it on self and others and forces one to make constant comparisons and judgements.

3. Political Commentary - Really not interested in political rallying from the pulpit. I think most of us understand the overall moral/ethical stances of our churches. Perhaps evening teaching series would be more appropriate? I just can't listen to the news in church, if that makes sense.

What I do want:
1. Christ-centered, gospel-oriented , Biblically-inspired teachings

2. Practicality - I want to learn lessons and  integrate life-enriching principles into my life that are both sensible and attainable. And I desire to be challenged. I shouldn't like everything that comes out of a pastor's mouth. Because I should have to change my life based on God's desires for my life, not mine.

3. Commitment to Serving Others - I've always wanted to be a part of something more, to respect those around me, help the broken. But now I don't have that spark and I really need to be less me-focused.

4. Support - Fellow believers must be there for one another, and this one is slightly self-serving. I hope to be connected to others who can mentor, guide, and support me along my journey. I want to be led along whatever this path is by appropriately insightful people.

What are the essentials in your faith community? Did I miss an essential?

Inspirational Women

I truly believe that to be positive, you must be surrounded by positive people. I so think that women need women to guide them, cry with them, laugh with them, etc and I just don't think there are many opportunities in life to do this. All too often we feel judged, misguided or uncomfortable just being ourselves, and I think I have finally gotten over needing to be overly concerned about presenting myself a certain way. I am no longer ashamed of who I am, how I think, and the way I live. I am instead embracing the exciting moments in my life and realizing that they all make me who I am.

Which leads me to my point...every Wednesday night I spend the evening with these incredible women:




I am so blessed. These women are AMAZING and are my teachers (one of whom is my mom). They have been through it all - marriage, children, some divorces, some remarriages, deaths, awesome jobs, financial struggles, finding beauty in each day, forgiving others. I could go on and on. They help me put life in perspective and teach me to just let it be. Through our weekly chatting/crying/reflection/prayer-fest (ok, sometimes we go to the movies) we are all there for one another in ways that I can't even put into words.

We all have a story, we all have experiences to share and all of us say things that are completely touching, completely insightful, and just what we need to hear. It is always so impressive that even though we may have differing opinions on stuff, we all love each other anyway and actually get to talk things through and attempt to understand one another. I am so grateful to be a part of this group. It has changed my life. I appreciate life so much more, I see goodness so much more.

Our focus for the fall will be reading Simplicity:The Freedom of Letting Go. We are each taking a chapter to present. Believe me, I really need this in my life and I am looking forward to hearing everyone's input. I have read the first chapter and it really presents the ideas simply and easily. It is so calming and I am very exctied to see where it will lead me in my journey. I highly recommend it (ok, I loooooove everything Richard Rohr does, so just read anything by him) and I think you will feel enlightened.