Weigh in.

Someone commented last week that I look as though I've lost weight and wondered what New Year's Resolutions I've kept. Truthfully, this happened by accident, but I feel the need to share the truth.

Here I am exactly one year ago:

And this is me now.

Yes, I've lost weight. About 10 pounds. But I admit that I didn't lose it the healthy way. 

It was totally stress related and I'm not proud of that. 

Basically, in October with the hurricane, I stopped eating. The stress was horrible. We'd be at my parents' cleaning and a combination of emotions, the odors of salt water (or as my husband refers to it, the fish tank that was my parents' home), and the pressure to get the clean out done quickly all contributed to my lack of appetite. Some people eat more when they're stressed and I'm the opposite. 

Christmas Eve, a night of seven fish dishes, my mother-in-law severely burnt her hand and we all went into crisis mode.  I ate shrimp cocktail and a tiny bit of spagetti. That's how I kept the weight off during the holidays. Stress compounded upon stress.

But, there have been some other changes that I think made this happen. 

I have new food allergies and they make me question what I eat more often. We know I am allergic to tree nuts, peanuts and avocados. When I tell you I could eat a full pound of guacamole by myself, I am not kidding. I would slice an avocado open and eat it out of the skin as a snack. Now that's over. I used to be able to deal with the tongue swelling and facial hives, but now eating a simple California roll with tiny slices of avocado leads to stomach issues and I really hate stomach cramps. So I have to avoid eating it. With these new allergies, I avoid things that I might be able to eat (cookies that could have almond extract, meatballs that could have pine nuts) but can't be sure how they'll affect me. So I am eating less baked goods (to be honest, I'm not a sweets person to begin with, so this wasn't the most difficult thing for me. Guac was harder), eating out less and eating fresh cooked meals at home more than we used to. In addition to my known allergies, I suspect that I have a sensitivity to the sulfites in red wine. So there's something else that I now avoid. 

We are eating much better at home. My husband is the culinary expert at home and he has been really focused on dropping some pounds, so it's been whole grain pasta (my grandmother would be horrified!!), lots of green veggies, lean meat, and fish. We are eating healthier lunches at work, too with the yummy leftovers.

The clothing I wear now fits me. After realizing that I had lost weight, I was able to wear clothes that were too small for me in the past. And I learned that I was wearing clothes that were too bulky and not fitted at all for too long. I donated all clothes that did not flatter me. If it was gappy or too loose, it went. 

 I also got a bra fitting and that made a huge difference in how tops fit me. 

So, the moral of the story? I gained 20 pounds the year after I got married. That was tough for me, but I didn't make any lifestyle changes to make things better. Now I have lost 10 of those pounds and I want to be healthier and keep them off the right way. How? I've asked a friend to challenge me at the gym. I don't even know how to walk into a gym let alone use any of the machines, but I need to do this. And I am eating better food with more nutrients. I'm also back into knitting and crafty things, which has helped my spirits bounce back (I know that the weight loss was more than that and likely affected my emotions more than I think).

I believe in honesty. So as much as I would like to say that I did everything right by dieting and exercising, I have to admit the truth, that I was an emotional wreck which affected my eating habits. I'll be trying hard to be healthier in many areas of my life and starting with my weight is first on the list. 

Right Now - January 2013

Source: onevelvetmorning.wordpress.com via Kathleen on Pinterest

Feeling exhausted! Ever since I went back to work from Christmas break, I haven't been able to get on a normal sleep schedule. Trying a new pillow and an earlier bedtime. 

Ready to be group leaders for Financial Peace University. So excited to meet new people and be cheerleaders for others.

Excited to wear new bras that actually fit. Turns out I was part of that huge percentage of ladies wearing the wrong size (like the same size I wore in 9th grade. Yup, things have changed). I encourage you to get a fitting. I'm taking my mama for Mother's Day.

Praying for strength in our marriage and enriched fellowship with our small group.

Listening to The Emperor of All Maladies. I don't know anything about medicine/health, but this book on the history of cancer is fascinating.

Reading

Watching Downton Abbey. Just like the rest of America it seems. Or at least many of my Facebook friends.

Focusing on too many little things. I neeeeeed to let things go and be understanding of others. Oh, and I need to sometimes accept that I may indeed be the problem, not someone else.

Eating Luna Lemon Zest bars for breakfast. They're one of the few bars that are sans-nuts (a recent adult food allergy=limited options) that have a decent amount of protein.

Drinking lots and lots of water. So many people are sick around us and we are staying hydrated. When I am sick of the taste of plain water I add fresh lemon juice or cranberry juice. 

Writing  in my journal at least three times a week. I always start the year with tons of entries and they dwindle by spring and are barely existent in the fall/winter. When I write, my soul is just calmer.

I look forward to sharing a little more with you this year by doing monthly (at least) hopes and cares. It will also help me to make blogging a priority again. I miss you guys!!

One Little Word 2013 - Trust

Another year, another word. Want to read more about it? Here's an archived post be Ali Edwards about the concept.

For 2012 I selected embrace as my word to reflect upon and I tried hard to go with the flow. For the most part, I think that happened. It was an attempt to be more accepting and I know that idea helped me to be less obsessed with the perceptions of others. I needed to just let their thoughts and ideas be theirs and not influence my own attitude. I noticed that I moved on a little easier and in some cases faster. And just when I released certain problems from my own power, the situations changed or opened up. I liked the word embrace so much and I think it gave me a slightly more free spirit.

But now it's on to this year.

For 2013 I am selecting a word that I think will be a real challenge: trust

By nature, I am not the most trusting person. I'm cynical and usually look for the loophole in a deal. I tend to think people are out to get me and I am the conspiracy theorist in our group (ask any of my friends, I am obsessed with the other side of any crime or wondering what we aren't being told). I just don't tend to trust the party line so to speak. As a result, it is hard for me to trust others.

So, what do I hope for this word trust?

-I want to deepen relationships with family and friends with trust and honesty. Less gossip, less chit chat and more intense conversations. This isn't for all friends obviously (I am a firm believer that one should never expose herself to those who will not appreciate sharing important stuff). I believe in sharing stories when they need to be told and with those whom I cherish, I want to do just that) but for those forever friends already in my life and those yet to come. You know them when you meet them, right?

-To be more trusting of others and believe in their motives for goodness and honesty.

-To be more trustworthy and to be a person of integrity.

-To be open to new ideas and not jump to conclusions.

-To trust my instincts (which I usually ignore) and go to God in moments of concern.

-I want to trust God and accept that God is fighting for good in this world and good in my world. To trust  God in all areas of my life by surrendering to Him even when it seems like I should be able to control the situation. This will be tough and I know it, but my faith needs a real awakening and I think it has to start with trust.

So, have you chosen a word? How do you hope to incorporate it into your life?